Guardian of Secrets Syn and Loki
by marvelousmindff
Summary: Written as if the character actually existed and contributed to the events of the film throughout, but was never onscreen. Syn is the Norse goddess of truth and justice, guardian of the hall of Frigga, she defends the weak and wrongly accused, she knows your sins and secrets. An Asgardian of great power and Loki's dialectic beloved. (and no, she isn't Sigyn).


Prince Loki of Asgard had come to call upon his mother, as was his habit, despite the palace being in the midst of final preparations for the coronation. His mother's handmaiden Syn, finding his greeting of her at the doors of his mother's residence to be uncharacteristically wooden, was suspicious. She perceived his attempt to put on a good face, and it immediately captured her interest; he was not even attempting his usual flirting with her when she allowed him entry. Though she'd learned from a young age to be cautious of Loki's manipulative nature and had subsequently kept him at arm's length, she'd always found his presence entertaining and enjoyed his visits more than any others, though she'd never admit it to him. She was sure he already suspected it anyway.

In childhood, he'd been a dark and intense boy that she'd found she had much in common with, his love of pranks had been amusing at first but grown untenable when her conscience began warning her that she took too much pleasure in such things. As they'd left childhood behind she'd begun questioning what the full extent of his cunning and abilities might be. She'd chosen not to encourage his attentions when his charm had begun to feel deliberate, uneasy that he'd intensified his appeal just as the extent of her powers begin to become clear. Powers which could be devastating in the wrong hands and required her control with utmost commitment and care. It was better to stay out of his machinations and keep her responsibilities first in her thoughts. Now that they were adults she'd learned to shoulder the burden of her powers admirably. She could not see into the hearts of powerful gods as easily as she could into most beings but she occasionally captured glimpses into them that were very telling. Loki was different. His mercurial disposition usually prevented her from seeing into his heart at all. She found this was both unsettling and engaging and had not admitted this unique blind spot in her abilities to any but his mother Frigga. Syn's childhood friendship with Loki had allowed her to compensate for this blindness by becoming very good at physically reading him and trying to stay one step ahead of him mentally, definitely a challenge.

The heart of Loki's brother, Prince Thor, was no secret to her; especially now that her gifts were fully established. While there was good there in abundance, it was masked in spoiled selfishness, pride, and petulance. She's always resented his privileged attitude, his tendency to show off and in particular his haughtiness towards his little brother. She had often been called upon to settle disputes between them, and had always taken Loki's side, well nearly always. Though she was usually the only one to stand up for Loki, if his mischievousness had been to blame, even she wisely removed herself from the debate. Syn did not tell lies, even to herself, and she acknowledged Loki's pranks could sometimes be as impudent as Thor's behavior.

Though her insight was now based on more than just the observations of childhood, her opinion of Thor had not improved much. She knew in her heart Thor was not ready for the throne but she'd only admitted this to the Allfather when he'd begun to suspect the same and approached her for her insight on the matter.

Syn had been called upon for assistance at two trials, as was customary for suits in which the defendant claimed to be falsely accused. The cases had gone very differently, one had truth in his heart and was released. The other had only falsehoods. Though Syn would keep his secrets, just as she did for all she saw into, and only bring them to light if the holder wished it, he'd denied consent for her to release them to the court, and Syn would not vouch for him. He had been justly convicted.

Beyond defending the wrongly accused, Syn did not allow her gifts to be used to interfere with most matters. She could not, however, deny Odin her judgment when he asked for it.

He'd been waiting for her after the trials. To find the Allfather waiting around to speak to her had caused her no small amount of anxiety but she knew how much he'd come to value her gifts and he'd asked for her judgment on the matter as kindly as possibly. Odin knew that the ramifications of Syn's abilities could be a great burden, her status as keeper of secrets caused many to assume she knew all and so they placed absolute trust in her words. She had an intuitive mind and so could draw on her understanding of human nature, as well as her abilities, to speculate on the outcome of events. But Syn had found that to express her conjecture, or even an offhand opinion, was to influence events and guide them in the very direction she'd surmised they were going, leaving her to wonder if she had been the cause of the resulting events. In keeping with her hesitance to influence outcomes with her conjecture, Odin had not validated her reluctantly voiced reservations but neither had he denied them. Instead he'd surprised her by suggesting she would make for a worthy queen to help guide his son, a notion quickly discouraged by her look of distaste. Her tendency to broadcast her inner thoughts plainly on her face was a weakness she understood the benefit of mastering, but counterfeiting her expression felt deceitful. She'd decided her best option was to strive for inexpression, but she struggled with it. While she was regretting her inefficiency at hiding her emotions the Allfather had lapsed back into deep thought and then dismissed her with a conciliatory smile.

She'd left fretting over the gleam in his eye that had accompanied his suggestion, and had remained despite his outward dismissal of the idea. She wanted no part in anyone else's designs for her, if her familiarity with the secrets of so many others had taught her anything, it was that strategies never played out as intended; all the realms would be better off without the meddling of others.

Loki had stirred her curiosity today, and she acknowledged curiosity to be her most overwhelmingly difficult trait to control, she decided to find out if this distraction was stemming from the same unease she was suffering, concerning Thor's coronation tomorrow. If so it was a worry she shared with him in a way few could. She prompted "I understand all plans are in place for the coronation?" The brief surliness on his face told her all she needed to know, before he quickly smoothed his expression to one of gracious and affectionate pride, with a speed born of practice that told her volumes about his true feelings. It was a betrayal of true sentiment few would have caught "Yes, a great celebration worthy of our next king, Bor himself would be proud." His mention of Bor truly startled her, dark things were afoot indeed. They were interrupted as his mother Frigga entered the room, and greetings were affectionately made between them while Syn discreetly resumed her duties.

For the first few minutes of the visit Syn had been lost in thought over his initial interaction with her, but had then resumed her custom of closely observing and evaluating all that passed before her. A trait she could see Loki, now that she suspected him of some deception, was well aware of. His attempts to hide his discomfort under her surveillance were admirable, but little passed before perceptive Syn that she was unaware of or could not derive. After a sufficient amount of time had passed for him to take his leave without appearing rude or hasty, Loki said his goodbyes.

When he'd departed she'd followed him and just past the gate had made her presence known, slightly startling him. A reaction he quickly followed with an air of amusement and approval. He smiled at her in that impishly seductive manner he'd been trying to win her over with for so long "I sometimes forget you are vastly gifted in skills, some much more physical than your imposing magic and vision, My lady." Ignoring the flattery as she always did, she'd instead been taken aback at the possessive inflection he'd placed on the word 'my' and she'd not spoken for a moment, only looked at him appraisingly. Catching the glint of humor in his eye she'd decided it was just a bit of his usual playful behavior and relaxed into the mocking wit of their typical banter. "Conquests should be earned before they are claimed my lord, or one might develop a reputation for a boastful nature."

Today was not a typical day however and his mood soured quickly at her teasing taunt, which had too easily reminded them both of Thor. Wanting to offer comfort that might forestall whatever scheme she sensed he was up to she'd done something she almost never allowed herself to do and, without preamble, let him in on her intuition about his brother "I do not believe Thor will be given the crown tomorrow."

Most Asgardians were aware of her gift to see into the hearts of others but few were familiar with her ability to intuitively prophesize from what she could derive, Loki was one of those few. She was accustomed to defending her reluctance to reveal what she saw, beyond vouching for the truth in the defense of others. So she was expecting some form of surprise in Loki's response to her unbidden sharing of this insight and was even more suspicious at the lack of it. Her words had been deliberately intended to strike a nerve so she could read his recoil, but he'd surprised her with cool reproach "I wouldn't worry overmuch lady Syn, my brother's big day will be memorable and great fun." His face had not lent his words any truth and her eyes had narrowed as she blatantly attempted to read him. At this he'd abruptly dismissed her with another "My Lady" and left.

Loki had gone to see his brother later that day for the final preparations. Though age made them both pretend that they were more mature and responsible brothers, proximity invariably brought about a return of their immature rivalry, albeit laced with more good humored nostalgia then they'd shown in their childhood. They invariably devolved into bickering, as siblings do, sometimes affectionately, sometimes not. Thor was preparing to dress for the ceremony, and had removed his shirt before the serving girls had finished setting their meal out. They passed him in a giggling blushing huddle as they withdrew. Thor was obviously enjoying himself

"Careful brother, Fandral might feel threatened." Thor had grinned appreciatively and then retorted with heavy sarcasm. "Tell me brother; have you visited lady Syn recently?" Loki refused to take the bait and replied mildly "I visited mother recently." "Oh come now brother, we both know the Dark Lady is the reason you are so attentive in your visits to our mother." Loki was suddenly icy as the barb struck home better than Thor had expected "Are you implying some dishonor on the lady Syn?" Thor raised his hands in amused placation "No, Odin forbid it. Peace brother, you know I meant no harm." Loki attempted to restore his sense of humor while Thor playfully continued "Besides who could ever question the honor of the mighty and noble Syn?" these glib epithets made Loki feel obliged to knock Thor down a peg and he blithely replied "I'm sure she could level you on your backside if you tried to say anything of the sort." Thor had paused for a moment in reflection of that possibility "She is a miraculous and terrible sight to behold when she gets going, isn't she. The Valkyrie would be proud. Its infuriating that she chooses to fight so rarely, think of it, having her on your side in combat, the battle would be won practically before it begins!" Loki did not like the level of interest taking hold of Thor as he contemplated the potential of lady Syn and decided to casually bring him back to reality "You know it doesn't work that way with her, her magic takes a terrible toll on her. Even if it didn't she still wouldn't give you the satisfaction, she has conviction, she stays true to her beliefs, and holds herself accountable. Odin himself couldn't make her corrupt her principles, you certainly couldn't." the taunt had been delivered with a smile and was intended to be the last word on the matter, but Thor was thoroughly enjoying what he'd stirred up and continued the game "You make it sound as if these where uncommon traits, brother." Loki's pretense of detachment was tossed aside "They are traits others aspire to while she fulfills them." Loki looked so earnest that Thor sobered and smiled sincerely at him "I jest brother, my apologies; I know you speak the truth. You're surprisingly easy to rattle today." They changed the topic to lighter things while they finished prepping.

Leaving his brother to make his big entrance alone, according to his wishes, Loki entered the throne room beforehand and took his place on the steps below his smiling mother. Unable to stop himself, he glanced over at the Lady Syn where she stood sentry at the edge of the dais, well behind the warriors three. Though she was unusually small for an Asgardian she was an imposing figure in the resplendent robes of her offices, her pale face set with the gravity of the occasion, and her long dark hair flowing down her back. It was only ever worn up in combat. He'd caught the flash of her green eyes as she'd stolen a quick glance at him too. He'd given her a smile meant to charm and received a subtle double take, followed by his personal favorite among the familiar repertoire of her facial expressions - one elegant dark brow arched in sardonic reply, before she'd softened it with the suggestion of a smile at the corner of her lovely lips.

She turned back to the doorway and he could see it was costing her some effort to keep her face devoid of some other emotion that was struggling to bleed through her mask of solemnity. Though she was getting better at keeping her thoughts from her face, old acquaintance had allowed him to discern what others might not. The lady was uneasy and not actually looking forward to the impending events the way the rest of the giddy hall did. Perhaps he'd mistaken her yesterday, he'd taken her words to be an attempt to comfort him as the sovereignty he'd been brought up for passed beyond his reach, but maybe she'd been expressing genuine reservations about Thor's suitability.

Thor was late and the party began to stir with unease at this. Loki's contemplations came to an abrupt halt as his father looked at him for an explanation and Loki answered him with a shrug. Not an answer his father appreciated. Volstagg muttered under his breath "Where is he?" as the crowd became restless. Loki rejoined in an equally muffled voice "he said he'd be along." Sif suddenly shook her head and at Volstagg's prompting replied "he wants to make an entrance." Fandral joined in at this point "Well, if he doesn't show up soon, he shouldn't bother. Odin looks like he's ready to feed him to his ravens." Loki reassured them "I wouldn't worry. Father will forgive him. He always does." The comment caught Syn's attention, she knew more than most how true his statement was, and how little of that tolerance had come Loki's way.

Suddenly the room erupted into cheers and as Thor came swaggering into the throne room. Loki chanced another glance at Syn, and his certainty of her misgivings increased as he watched her assessing Thor, her anxiety not fading from her eyes. After much strutting, posturing and posing Thor knelt before Odin and the ceremony began. Despite his initial displeasure, Odin's pride was sappily obvious and he spoke words filled with sentiment having eyes only for his first born.

Annoyed by this, and yet also accustomed to it, Loki decided to let his eyes linger on Syn instead. Odin praised the hammer Thor wielded, evoked the ancient oaths of leadership, and was on the brink of proclaiming Thor king, when Syn had abruptly taken on a faraway expression, just as suddenly her eyes refocused with pressing intensity as she'd quickly turned to Odin "My Lord…" he'd immediately given Syn his complete focus, halting his words midsentence. All she needed to say was "The vault!" and he briefly took on the faraway gaze she'd displayed moments ago then refocused and searched her eyes before exclaiming "Frost giants." He'd tapped his spear Gungnir to waken the Destroyer and strode from the hall, followed by the princes and Syn, abruptly ending the ceremony.

Syn followed Thor and Loki as Odin led the way to the vault . Though guarding the city gates from intruders was Heimdall's responsibility, guarding over the doorways inside Asgard, even from Asgardians, was hers. Someone had just overcome them both. There were few who could.

While Odin had attended to the Casket of Ancient Winters, and reassured his sons, Syn had checked the guards for any sign of life as well as the remains of the Frost Giants. After confirming they were dead and she could do nothing for any of them her mind began racing with possibilities of how this could have come to pass and why. Concentrating was difficult with Thor yelling for explanations from his father, and curiosity got the better of her when Odin obliged. At the far end of the room, she stood as quietly as Loki did and listened to the exchange. "I have a truce with Laufey, King of the Jotuns." "He just broke your truce! They know you are vulnerable." When Thor was prompted by Odin to elaborate what he would do, she listened as all her worst fears for Thor's rule were confirmed. He passionately advocated acts of childish revenge and war.

Odin patiently dealt with him and pointed out there was a breech in their defenses to be found, a personal failure which Syn felt deeply and she resumed contemplating it. She was startled out of her thoughts when Odin's patience with Thor abruptly ran out and he exclaimed "But you're not King!" then gentled the declaration by adding softly "Not yet…"

Her premonition had come to pass. Syn quickly took the opportunity to exit the room and allow the Prince to save face. She waited in the corridor to accompany Odin, as she was sure his next destination would be to consult with Heimdall.

When Odin emerged she'd been about to accompany him, but one look at his face and she wasn't so sure that was a good idea. She paused in indecision and Loki had approached her, his manner subdued. "I wouldn't if I were you. He might be best left alone for the time being." "Yes, you're probably right."

There was an old familiar energy crackling between her and Loki today, as if the high emotions they'd all been experiencing had lowered their barriers. She'd looked down, knowing she should be doing something about the mystery of the Jotuns, but completely unsure what that should be. "How did they get in Loki?" He drew a breath to answer but she got caught up in the sympathy in his eyes and questions begin pouring out of her. "And why? They knew there wasn't a chance that the three of them would be successful, that this would end in their deaths. Why would they risk their lives on such folly? How did they manage to hide from both Heimdall and from me?" His reply was heavy with ponder "I'm not entirely sure. Since Odin defeated them their kingdom has been in ruins and their people dispirited. Maybe they thought they could win back the glory of their world before it crumbles further…perhaps they were just desperate. Being on the verge of giving up hope can do that." Then he'd deliberately held her gaze and his voice was more sure and earnest "And they didn't manage to hide from you. You gave the warning just in time to prevent them from opening the casket." She'd dropped her eyes at this and somewhat petulantly replied "They should never have gotten that far." He'd placed his fingers under her chin and raised her face so that he could look her in the eyes again "You have ever held yourself to a higher standard than anyone else could hope to attain. Don't let one grievance define you. You'll find the culprit and prevent it from happening again." He paused before adding softly "I have faith in no one else, more so than you."

There was such sincerity in his eyes and comfort in his words, she'd not spoken to him like this in years, and she had missed his friendship profoundly. In that moment, she made a choice and she felt a chain reaction begin. She let her long bigotry towards him slip. Let go of the witty retorts and aloofness she'd armored herself with, let herself remember the boy she'd cared so much for. Feelings she'd buried out of fear long ago began to make themselves known, a piece of her soul that had thrived on time spent in his company, a part of her that she'd forced into dormancy leaving her with nothing but the cold comfort of her responsibilities. She hadn't realized just how dead inside she'd become until that part of her began to wake and feel alive again.

Something in Loki's eyes told her he'd perceived the shift. Recognizing that this was his chance, he also dropped the stiffness they'd adopted with each other and leaned in closer, taking her hand. When she didn't pull away he continued "Since we are discussing the attempted theft of treasures, you should know that I have wanted to apologize for my behavior that day Syn. A first kiss is an awkward thing to begin with, but I shouldn't have stolen it like that. To do so cheapened what we had between us." "It was a long time ago, Loki it doesn't matter anymore." "It does matter, it matters because ever since then you have held the belief that I did what I did out of some spiteful desire to use you. When really I just…wanted you so badly. I was nervous and a clumsy fool and I scared you away, so much so that you've spent years staying beyond my reach." She considered him for a moment, trying to objectively see past her strong desire to believe him, and found she could not deny the truth of his words.

She gave in to her instincts, deciding to take a chance and commit herself, asking softly "Can you swear to me that you will never again take advantage of me in any way Loki?" The sincerity of his reply was absolute "I swear it Syn. You were the most painful lesson of my life, a regret that has become my conscience. I know you; to use you would be to destroy you. To take advantage of you would be as blood on my hands, blood of one whom I love above all others."

The prospect that he was sincere and the emotions he'd awakened brought forth the reckless streak she'd long suppressed. She looked at her hand in his "I am not beyond your reach anymore…" She continued as she coyly raised her eyes to his "and you are no nervous and clumsy fool." His was taken by surprise at the implication of her words for a moment before seizing the opportunity she was giving him. Then he reached up and stroked her cheek and gently inclined his mouth towards hers, stopping just shy of contact. She'd taken a deep breath and closed the gap, pressing her lips to his.

It was a kiss worth waiting for, a kiss with an air of fate about it, and she knew she could never fool herself into shunning him again, could never put the lid back on that box and feel dead inside without him. She was lost, with nothing standing between her beliefs and heartbreak, except his vow not to use her, and she accepted it completely.

They finally broke apart when Thor emerged from the vault and raged past them, seeing nothing but his own fury and taking it out on anything in his path. Both of them still feeling slightly shy but giddy they'd held each other's eyes for a moment before Loki said "I better speak to him." With her playful spirit fully reawakened she turned his earlier words back on him "I wouldn't if I were you. He might be best left alone for the time being." Loki turned back to her with enthused amusement and chuckled "There you are! I was afraid your puckish qualities were gone for good" he leaned in for another kiss "and they are some of my favorite virtues." He'd kissed her again briefly before he made another attempt to handle the situation "You're probably right. But I trust his temper less than my father's." She smiled at him, inadvertently rooting him to the spot and rendering his attempt to address the situation useless. He kissed her again, but they were interrupted once more as Thor's roars echoed down the halls followed by a massive crash, Loki had given her one last quick kiss before hurrying towards the commotion.

After watching him go, she'd headed to see Heimdall.

The Allfather's incensed voice had carried clearly to the Bifrost outside the door of the observatory, where Syn caught the last of the conversation as she approached. "To have both my son's in question, with sleep approaching? I won't have it Heimdall! Find the culprit!"

She froze, 'both sons?'

He suspected Loki of letting the Frost Giants in? Syn's mind began to race. Though not commonly known, there were ways to sneak into Asgard, but they required help. It may not have been Loki. But the timing… Thor's coronation had been interrupted. Much as she had not wanted it to take place, she knew of only one other person who felt the same way, one person would enjoy the mischief it would cause.

Her inability to lie to herself, made her admit Loki was suspect, but his motives were unknown. It may have been merely a poor prank. She looked into her heart and was surprised to find, not a resolution to shut him out again, but determination to protect him, even from himself. Odin strode from the portal bridge over the Bifrost back to Asgard, but his wrath did not encourage attentiveness to his surroundings. She didn't exactly hide, but neither did she make her presence known as he passed.

After he'd gone she entered the observatory where Heimdall stood with his head bowed and his back to her. Though she'd not made her presence known Heimdall had spoken "What is it little Syn?" She smiled fondly at his back, he was one of the few she couldn't sneak up on "It seems we have a problem to solve Heimdall, someone who has made us both look like fools." He'd turned and attempted to smile back at her "You do not share the blame in this little one, this is on my head." "Do I not guard the doorways of Asgard? Did they not find their way through the palace, to the very treasure room itself?" He'd interrupted her declaring with proud confidence "Where you did stop them Lady Syn, and would have judged their hearts and found their secrets had you been able. You did not fail. This one slipped my watch" he paused before adding grimly "and you know whom I suspect."

He'd known what she'd heard outside "I do know whom you suspect, good Heimdall, but I cannot confirm or deny his innocence." She admitted grudgingly "He is outside my power." At this Heimdall had turned his intense scrutiny on her, as if trying to see through her "Though you are not outside his, it would seem." She knew enough of Heimdall to know when he was guessing, but his implications called her motives into question, something she was not used to. "We cannot assume guilt where there may be none, nor innocence where misguided actions may have occurred. He deserves the right to prove his guilt or innocence and be judged fairly." Heimdall scrutinized her as he asked "And if he proves guilty?" She considered it harshly before she decided on her reply "The sentence is not mine to pass. He is a Prince of Asgard, Heimdall. While the baker's child may steal a cake, and the stableman's child may founder a horse, a king's child makes mistakes on a much grander scale. But all find their punishment is in their father's hands." She turned to leave the bridge; it was time to seek out Odin.

"Allfather?" Odin had looked up as she entered and she was taken aback at how fatigued he looked. He'd been putting off the Odinsleep for too long this time. They needed a quick and simple solution to this chaos so that the arrangements could be made for his rest and defense. Why did Thor have to be such an arrogant and selfish child? This mess was all his doing, though he'd never admit it. Even Frigga had worry in her eyes as she looked at her husband. "Allfather, I wish to apologize for the dereliction of my duties…" Odin interrupted her with a negligent wave of his hand "It was nothing you could have prevented Syn. Do not be so hard on yourself. You carry out your duties admirably… perhaps too much so." Odin paused and studied her reflectively "Though there seems to be more lightness to you now, I think." He smiled.

Feeling as if Odin sometimes turned her gifts back on her and read her heart, she bluntly changed the subject "Allfather I know that Heimdall suspects Loki" his smile disappeared and his manner became distinctly uneasy "and I cannot confirm or deny his suspicions" she caught the slight relaxation that hinted of relief, but continued "right now I fear Thor is the more urgent issue." He nodded his concurrence to her and she went on. "He is too full of himself, too eager to prove himself, and he will bring greater folly if he is not reined in. He has much to learn but the lessons are of a hard nature. There is not enough time to accomplish such change of heart before the Odinsleep takes over. Preparations should be made; orders should be given, before it's too late." Odin indulgently smiled at her and Frigga placed a hand on her husband's shoulder. Her smile at Syn was one of warm gratitude, making it plain to Syn that Frigga too had held the same fear for her husband. Odin replied with interest "and how do you think I should address this crisis, just and observant Syn?" Though she knew he was humoring her, she gave her honest answer "Thor needs to be suppressed somehow till you awaken." She saw in his eye that he was already grappling with this truth, before she'd spoken it, but his response was unexpected "and what of Loki?" he paused a moment as his demeanor seemed to bend from a sort of prying to something akin to pleading "who will keep him out of trouble?" instinct told her there was a game being played here, but there was also deep disquiet and genuine entreaty in the Allfather "will you take care of him?." Though she kept countless secrets for others, Syn decided to lay her own secret bare "with all my heart, Allfather."

Odin had not had time to reply with anything more than a glimmer of relief in his eye when the doors had burst open. "I must have audience, it cannot wait any longer!" a guard called out behind him as he approached Odin, marching with a pompously important strut till the immediacy of Odin overcame the importance of his errand and he hesitated in awe. Then he clumsily knelt and stated in a halting voice fraught with nerves "I bear an urgent message from Prince Loki, Allfather." His hesitancy in relaying the message after stating its importance was infuriating and he was intelligent enough to see this irritation in the faces of his audience and blurted out "To tell you Thor makes for Jotunheim with his brother, Lady Sif, and the warriors three."

Odin turned to Syn "Heimdall would never have opened the portal for them!" Syn, ever honest, replied "Heimdall wants answers as much as his Prince." She knew Heimdall would have done as Thor wanted, just as Thor's companions had done by following him into trouble, they could not watch him go unaided. Odin stood up and called for Sleipnir to be saddled. Frigga called out to him as he strode to the doors "Take Syn with you. You may have need of her protection." Odin had turned to Syn and regarded her appraisingly; weighing the toll using her magic would take on her, against the possible catastrophes that could arise in his fatigued state. Her willingness was evident, so he'd inclined his head, though somewhat hesitantly "Very well." Syn followed him as he strode from the room.

Speed was essential, so she'd ridden behind Odin on Sleipnir till they reached the observatory, and then dismounted knowing he would want to make an entrance. Heimdall had looked chagrined at having his assistance exposed, but had not attempted to excuse his actions. His sense of dishonor was only evident in that he would not meet Syn's eyes. Odin had wasted no time berating him, only harshly ordered the bridge opened. Syn hated traveling the Bifrost, but it was much less draining then using her magic would be, and if Thor had managed to incite war with the Jotuns, she would need her strength. She methodically tied her hair up while she waited, restraining it in preparation for what could come.

Her worst fears were confirmed as they landed, an army of Jotun's was descending on the small party. They'd stopped in awe at the appearance of Odin, but his arrival brought no relief to the frightened faces of Loki and the warriors. Thor however had obliviously brayed for his father to join them "Father, will finish them! Together!" Odin had replied with an icy "silence!'" and Syn had stepped back out of sight when Laufey arose to hold conference with Odin.

She looked over the Asgardians to assure herself that they were not grievously injured and met Loki's eyes briefly. She saw great turmoil within him, but her attention was brought immediately back to Laufey at his opening words "Allfather, you look weary" his observations were astute and his voice was calculating, she knew he was going to take advantage of the situation. Odin would not be able to pacify them, they would attack. She ignored the rest of the exchange as she studied the positions of friend and foe while she readied to buy them time and distance for escape.

Then she quietly began drawing her power, like smoky tendrils from her fingertips as she pulled her undulating fingers across the air before her chest, then turned her open palm to the wisps and called them back to her now still hand, slowly enclosing her fingers and confining the magic, waiting to be unleashed. Just a small amount, as she knew Odin still hoped for peace. Even when she saw the dagger in Laufey's hand she dutifully waited for Odin's word, which was quickly given and she'd reacted, concentrating on Laufey but also blasting back all the Jotun's nearby as Odin drew their party to them and opened the Bifrost.

Once back in the bridge room, Syn felt the price of her powers. Extreme exhaustion, debilitating like a sickness the mortals suffered. She hadn't used much power so she could suppress the effects this time and looked round to ascertain the condition of the others. Fandral was the worst off, but his injuries were not so life threatening that they required her intervention. They were all lucky to have escaped with their lives. Loki reached out to her and placed his hand on her cheek, gently turning her face looking for signs of fatigue, and nearly smiled with relief that she was so little affected by her efforts. He pulled the pin from her hair and watched it fall around her shoulders as the tension of combat drained from them both. Her contentment at their safety was short lived as she thought about the reason their lives had been in danger in the first place. Thor had doomed them to war, and the Odinsleep was looming.

Thor was, incredibly, bickering with his father about not finishing off the Jotun's rather than showing any regret for his actions. Syn stood in mute amazement until Odin barked his dismissal at them "Get him to the healing room!" She was then torn between giving them privacy and her worry for Odin in his weakened state. She followed Thor's companions and Heimdall to the doors, but apprehension made her turn back to Loki. He'd held her gaze briefly and attempted a reassuring look before it was smothered by unease as he took a deep breath and looked back to his father and brother.

She'd compromised and left the room, but only to wait just outside the doorway in case she was needed. Things had gone too far, and she had a feeling the backlash would be severe. And then suddenly the backlash was breaking, with Odin shouting at Thor that he was a "vain, greedy, cruel boy!" Thor crossed the line completely then, yelling back "And you are an old man and a fool!" She'd pressed her eyes shut at this, knowing her counsel to Odin was coming true. The lesson could wait no longer, but the timing was unfortunate.

Odin was crushed, and forced to accept what he'd not wanted to see, he acknowledged the charge "Yes, I was a fool. To think you were ready." At this Loki stepped forward to appeal to his father but Odin angrily silenced him with look. Loki complied but was obviously hurt by this, and Syn's heart hurt for him. She suspected Odin's response stemmed from more than just anger at Loki's complaisance in the ill-conceived excursion. She feared that Odin resented Loki for being the catalyst of all this, and if he did it meant he already believed Loki let the frost giants in.

A conflict began to war in her, she admired and obeyed her king, but felt Loki was being done an injustice by this treatment. That he was guilty of complaisance was excusable, he was standing by his brother's wishes and had sent word to his father of their misguided escapade. There was, however ,no proof he had let the frost giants in. Attempting complete honesty with herself Syn played devil's advocate, if Loki had let the frost giants in to create trouble, they needed to know what weakness he'd exploited, and he deserved a punishment. But he'd also done Asgard a service. Thor's faults needed to come to light and be addressed, before he was crowned king. He could not have foreseen that his actions would lead to this.

She'd been on the verge of re-entering the room to stand by Loki when things had escalated. Suddenly Odin's voice had become grave and he began to address Thor formally. Syn was overwhelmed with the realization of what was coming. He was going to depose his own son? Thor needed time to grow and learn in order to be king, not be banished from the kingdom! She and Loki stood in stunned silence as Odin listed Thor's crimes and activated the bridge with his spear, Gungnir. He removed Thor's regalia and declared him unworthy as Loki looked on in misery. She warred with herself, she wanted to speak up on Thor's behalf and find a better way to deal with him, but knew she had to trust in the Allfather's wisdom.

And suddenly Thor was stripped of his powers and Odin declared "I cast you out!" and blew him back into the portal. Syn stood in shock as Loki had walked toward the portal for some sign of his brother. She calmed some when she saw Odin whispering something to Mjolnir and sent it flying after him. He was giving Thor a chance after all. Still, the look Loki turned on him was wary and disheartened. Perhaps he saw only that his father had turned out his own child.

Odin had deactivated the portal, keeping his eyes downcast and his shoulders slumped with more than just weariness. Loki marched from the room without a word. He stopped short just beyond the threshold when he saw Syn standing there. He sighed and looked down for a moment, realizing she'd seen the whole thing. Then taken a deep breath, met her eyes, and reached out to stroke her cheek. He kept his voice low "I'll walk you back, My lady." Again that possessive inflection on 'my' that he'd begun to address her with. As he offered her his arm she'd stolen another quick glance at Odin, but he had not moved. She took his arm and began the long walk over the Bifrost with Loki.

After many strides spent in silence he finally remarked "That burst doesn't seem to have taken much, you look much less tired then I would have thought." She smiled at him, recognizing his desire for distraction while he organized his thoughts "Is that your way of saying I don't look appallingly like the walking dead?" they'd both chuckled "It's been a while since I've done anything, and it wasn't much. I recovered quickly this time." They were both thinking of her first grueling attempts at magic, before strength and experience had taken the edge off its effects on her.

They'd walked little further when Loki gave up his attempts not to question his father's actions towards his formerly favored child "Why would he do it? Banish him?" She could knew he was asking for her own thoughts, not insight from the keeper of secrets. She wasn't sure how much she could say without answering as both and settled for something neutral "Thor has much to learn." He'd looked at her sharply, but hadn't pushed her further. Instead he had stared at the ground, lost in contemplation. She was content to leave him to his thoughts.

When they were nearly to the palace gates he reluctantly declared "I can't stand the thought of going home, not tonight." Her smile was sympathetic; no one wanted to confront a family in upheaval "You don't think your mother will need you when she hears of this?" When he didn't respond immediately she turned to him and found him contemplating his hand, as if it belonged to someone else before admitting in a small faraway voice "No, I don't think she will." This stopped Syn short "Of course she will Loki. She's lost a son, don't you think she will find comfort in the presence of her child?" He avoided her eyes and she began to get a feeling that something was very wrong. She dropped her voice to nearly a whisper "What happened in Jotunheim Loki?" He responded in a pained whisper "I'm not sure…I'm not sure about anything anymore." She covered the hand he was so preoccupied with in hers and he finally looked at her. "It's been an eventful day. I could use a drink." She cocked an eyebrow at him devilishly and won a smile from him.

She picked the first tavern they came to and tugged him inside. There was a slight hush when the revelers realized who was joining them, but it quickly passed. He led her to a more private table near the back and they'd ordered drinks and talked. Nothing of importance was discussed and nothing concerning Loki's family. It was just the two of them and their own amusements, funny stories, and memories. Syn was thoroughly enjoying the smile on his face when he asked "Do you remember when they used to make you and Sif sparring partners?" She knew where this one was going, though not many people had heard about it "Oh, she hated that, always wanted to be up against the boys. Thought fighting another girl wouldn't prove her skills to anyone." He'd started laughing, affecting his ability to get his words out "Always thought you weren't enough of a challenge, till she tried to play you for a fool while your back was turned. It was the first time any of them had ever seen you angry. Knocked her flat on her backside, she couldn't spar for days." They were both laughing when she added "I'm not sure she's ever forgiven me for that, she certainly never sparred with me again."

They'd continued on like that until the darkness outside the open door caught Syn's attention. It had gotten late and she was worried about Odin. Loki had caught her eyeing the door "We don't have to leave just yet. Our problems will all still be waiting for us, whenever we decide to go back. Let them wait a while longer." But the spell was broken and he knew it. She'd been about to say as much when he'd quietly interrupted her "I know. You don't have to say it, I know." Instead of standing up, he was suddenly leaning into her and wrapping his fingers in her hair at the base of her neck. He dragged out the moment, reading her eyes while their breath mingled, and then slowly kissed her. A kiss he'd begun with intense tenderness and had gradually lost control of until it had become deeply passionate. They were eventually brought back to their surroundings by a rowdy table that had spontaneously broken into raucous laughter over some jest. They'd looked slightly dazed at each other for a moment before Loki realized the neckline of her dress had been pulled down exposing her shoulder. He leaned in and gently kissed the bare skin before recovering it and smiled naughtily at her. Her breath hitched in her throat at that smile. Maybe they didn't have to go back…

The closer they got to the palace, the slower Loki seemed to be walking. Finally she said "Is it really so bad, Loki?" He'd played innocent "is what so bad?" she laughed at the attempt "your practically dragging your feet." He smiled self-consciously at said feet for a moment before taking a deep breath. All humor had gone from him when he replied "I have questions that need answering, and I'm afraid they will not be answers I want to hear." It took her a moment to catch up to the sudden change in his behavior, and she hadn't been able to do much more than look at him with concern before he kissed her hand and decisively walked away.

She'd taken a different entrance and resumed her duties after checking on Frigga, who was sad yet resolute, though Syn could sense the anger underneath. She was surprised to find that Loki had not visited his mother yet, but maybe he'd gone to check on Fandral first. She kept a close eye on Odin, while he paced and stared out windows. His anger was keeping him going but Syn was sure that sleep would get the better of him soon. "Allfather, have you made your wishes known?" She'd startled him, not just out of his thoughts, but with the realization that he had not made preparations. "The line of succession ..." he hesitated before changing subjects "I want your protection while I am vulnerable Syn, can you ensure that?" He turned to her when he received no response, and found her eyes wide in alarm, much more so than his request could have caused. Her eyes were intensely focused yet far away and she was astonished to have to give this alarm for the second time today "Someone is in the vault." She focused her gaze harder as Odin began to raise Gungnir to summon the destroyer and suddenly she held her hands up in entreaty "No! Its…" she then raised questioning eyes to Odin's, her words little more than breath "Its Loki?" There was no surprise in the old man at her revelation, only a wretched sort of resoluteness as Odin had walked past her. She'd followed with his Einherjar guards.

Odin threw the doors of the vault open and strode inside. Syn stopped in the doorway catching sight of Loki with his back to them at the far end of the vault holding the casket of ancient winters. She was taken aback for a moment and then quickly closed the doors to give them privacy. Odin shouted from within "Stop!"

She stood there still holding onto the closed doors, stunned; the cold of holding the casket should have frozen Loki where he stood. She suddenly thought of his behavior after Jotunheim, his preoccupation with his hand, and a deep cold dread began to uncurl in her stomach.

She heard his voice from within the vault shaking with emotion as he asked Odin "am I cursed?" Odin's reply was calm but reluctant "No." Loki's next question was more of demand "What am I?" and she heard the soft thud of the casket being set back upon its pedestal. Telling her the truth before Loki could coax it from Odin "you're my son." She slid her hand up the door, longing to ease the revelation she knew was coming. Frost Giant. How was this possible? She withdrew her hand and covered her mouth in denial as it all came together in her head. Loki's tolerance was fading "what more than that?" Never more than a few beats behind her, and often ahead, Syn heard him become slightly more collected as he put it all together "The casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?" followed by another succinct "No" from Odin. She thought this might be all he was going to give Loki, but then he conceded and began his tale.

"In the aftermath of the battle I went into the temple, and I found a baby. Small for a giant's offspring. Abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey's son." Syn sucked in a breath and turned to lean back against the doorway for support as she heard Loki, already reeling, trying to absorb this and repeating "Laufey's son?" Odin's reply was a simple but weary "yes." She heard Loki's labored breathing as he fought for understanding "Why? You were knee deep in Jotun blood, why would you take me?" There was evasion in Odin's voice when he responded "You were an innocent child." She didn't believe his argument any more then Loki did when he retorted "No. You took me for a purpose. What was it?"

There was a long pause in which she feared Odin would refuse to say anymore, and contradictorily feared that he would. Suddenly Loki, his voice full of desperation and pain, cried out at Odin "Tell me!" making Syn clench her hands and eyes shut in empathetic agony. Odin laid it all bare "I thought that we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace, though you." This open admission of a calculated purpose behind Odin's 'compassion' was followed by Loki's broken and gasping disbelief "What?" Syn slid down the doorframe to sit on the floor as Odin finished "but those plans no longer matter."

Loki was grasping for understanding now and, feeling used, he was finding connections in all the worst places. "So I am no more than another stolen relic. Locked up, here, until you might have use of me." Hot tears began to flood Syn's eyes and Odin interrupted with a feeble "Why do you twist my words?" as Loki continued imploringly "You could have told me what I was from the beginning, why didn't you?" Odin was heartbreakingly sincere in his reply "Your my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth." Loki was becoming increasingly frantic "What because, because I-I-I am the monster who parents tell their children about at night?"

Scalding tears began pouring down Syn's face at this. She wanted to stop the exchange, to make it all go away, but she knew she couldn't. She sat in helpless silence as they continued. Odin's attempts to reason with Loki became feebler as Loki's sense of betrayal made his anger grow in strength. "You know it all makes sense now! Why you favored Thor all these years." He was yelling now, his voice venomous with Odin's deceits "Because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a frost giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!"

The room had gone suddenly silent, and Syn held her breath listening. A moment later Loki called out "Guards!" and she realized why it had gone quiet. The Odinsleep had taken over. She was jumping to her feet and motioning the Einherjar guards to her as she heard a much more vulnerable Loki cry out again "Guards, please help!" She threw the doors open and the guards rushed past her to the Allfather, lying prone on the stairs with Loki at his side. He scrambled back out of the way as the Einherjar stepped in. The Einherjar lifted Odin to carry him to the chamber he passed the Odinsleep in. Loki followed them up the steps and stopped in his tracks when he saw Syn standing at the top of the stairs. She'd made an effort to dry her tears, but the evidence of them was still apparent.

He climbed the rest of the stairs and stood before her "You heard everything?" She nodded and began to apologize but he cut her off "No if there had to be a guard at the door, I'm glad it was you." Something inside him had broken, she could see it. Despite his words of approval, she could feel the darkness coming, and it did so quickly as his tone changed to bitter mocking "at least I know my revolting little secret is safe with you, isn't it Syn. You'll take it to your grave. And all the while I will look upon you and see the loathing in your lovely eyes, because we'll both know what you're looking back at."

He'd begun to stride past her in dismissal when she'd surprised him by raising her voice in authority "I know whom I look upon. You have been and will always be Loki of Asgard and you will address me as such!" Fearing how much she might give away to the guards, he turned and strode back to her and she continued in a lower voice "Do not try to convince yourself that you are something which you are not. Pain and madness lie down that path." She could see his dismissal coming and continued "I will never see you as anything but Prince Loki of Asgard. You would do well to content yourself with the same my love."

The endearment seemed to break the spell and he softened, his eyes were suddenly bright with tears, his voice was shaky and vulnerable again "But it is a lie, Syn, I am a lie. And you are a servant of truth" She reached up and stroked his cheek, catching a tear as it descended "It's only a lie if you make it one. No matter where you began life, you were raised Loki of Asgard, you are a part of a family that loves you; your place is here, with me. We are who we choose to be. That is your truth, the rest doesn't matter." He'd reached out and touched her face as she'd spoken, taking it in both his hands, and when she finished speaking he touched his forehead to hers and closed his eyes, as if he could physically draw strength from her faith in him.

He was unable to escape his self-loathing "You'd be better off without me Syn, I don't deserve you." She tried to shift the mood away from his melancholy by lacing her reply with humor "Of course you don't but what's done is done" she almost won a smile from him before she switched back to sincerity "I love you, and you'll never be able to make me regret that" she pressed her mouth to his and proved her point.

It was a tender kiss, meant to make him see that she was anything but repulsed by him, and it worked. She felt him slowly begin to thaw. He dropped his hand to her waist and pulled her closer as she wrapped her arms around his neck. They were interrupted by the tromping feet of more guards hurrying down the corridor and she pulled back to study him. There was still great sadness in his eyes, but the crushing aura he'd carried when he'd believed himself alone and untenable seemed to have eased.

The rushing guards had brought her thoughts back to her responsibilities and she recognized she had another problem. Odin had asked her to watch over Loki, but earlier he'd appointed her his keeper during the Odin sleep. Perhaps, when he realized time was short and he was still unprepared, he'd forgotten his previous request?

"Loki, your father charged me with his protection while he sleeps; I have to go see to his defenses and stand watch. Will you be alright?" She watched as resentment crept into his eyes and his voice became slightly hollow as he looked away and replied "yes." Afraid she'd just undone all her efforts to reassure him, she took his chin and forced him to look her in the eyes, trying to bore her love and sincerity into him "Never believe yourself to be alone Loki. I will always be here for you." this seemed to sooth him some until she added halfheartedly "You know where to find me when you need me." His eyes had darkened again as he responded "Yes, diligently fulfilling your duties at Odin's side." He'd roughly removed her hand from his face as his voice became full blown bitterness "Apparently you will always be there when he needs you as well." He walked away and she let him go, knowing his anger was frustration at the slavish way she fulfilled duties she took no pleasure in. Maybe it was better for him to be angry at her then lost in self-pity.

She'd entered Odin's chamber after setting the Einherjar guard and found Frigga hovering tenderly, worrying over his comfort. She maternally pounced on Syn the moment she saw her "What happened Syn? We were so unprepared, did he say anything?" Syn felt completely uncertain how to face this. "He did say he wanted me to oversee the guard." Relief filled Frigga's face as she grasped Syn's arm in a communication of gratitude Syn did not feel worthy of "and he mentioned the line of succession before we were interrupted." The relief fled Frigga "What could possibly be important enough to interrupt his final instructions?" seeing Syn's hesitation to answer she steeled herself "What other horrors have emerged today?" Syn was loath to be the bearer of these tidings "The Odinsleep stuck while Loki was questioning his true parentage and the… circumstances of his adoption." Frigga's face fell, misery and tears brimming in her eyes "how much does he know?" the answering tears that welled in Syn's own eyes told Frigga enough but she added "he is very hurt, and feels betrayed." Frigga had turned away and looked down upon Odin helplessly, "then I may have lost both my sons today." Syn held Frigga's hand to offer comfort, but did not contradict her.

Syn saw to the final measures of the watch, the Ravens, Hugin and Munin stood sentry on their perches. Loki came to check on his father as the room was shuttered. Frigga handled him with great compassion, but Loki was unsure and distant. He briefly met Syn's eyes where she stood watch behind the head of Odin's bed, before hesitantly going to sit at his father's side. She stepped back some to give them privacy.

They sat quietly for a few moments before Frigga felt she needed to explain "I asked him to be honest with you from the beginning. There should be no secrets in a family." Loki had armored himself with resentment, and for a moment Syn wasn't sure he was going to respond, but then he asked resolutely "So why did he lie?" Seeing that he wasn't going to shut them out completely, Frigga answered compassionately "He kept the truth from you so that you would never feel different. You are our son Loki, and we your family." Loki remained unsure, stoic but not unhearing as she continued "You must know that?"

He softened slightly as he tried to take this in and lowered his eyes to his sleeping father. "You can speak to him. He can see and hear us even now." Loki changed the subject "How long will it last?" Frigga's compassion changed to worry "I don't know. This time it's different, and we were unprepared." Concern began to soften Loki's face as he contemplated his father "I never get used to seeing him like this. The most powerful being in the nine realms, lying helpless until his body is restored." Frigga reached forward and took Odin's prone hand in hers "He's put it off for so long now, that I fear."

Shaking off her apprehension and returning her attention back to Loki she said kindly. "You're a good son. We mustn't lose hope that your father will return to us…and your brother." The mention of his brother brought him briefly out of his ambivalence; a flicker of incredulity flashing in his eyes before he tipped his chin up in skepticism, then leaning in with concern he inquired "What hope is there for Thor?" "There is always a purpose to everything your father does. Thor may yet find a way home." Loki seemed further troubled by this and looked down for a moment in thought before he rose and silently sought his mother's leave.

As he crossed the chamber floor the doors suddenly opened, startling him from his thoughts. He looked up to find the Einherjar guard assembled in the doorway. Syn crossed to the front of the room to stand nearer the doors, unsure what was happening. Loki regarded the Einherjar warily before they saluted and bowed, baffling him. Syn was somewhat reassured that there was no surprise on Frigga's face, but was still apprehensive. Then the keeper of Gungmir entered the room with the spear in his hands and knelt at Loki's feet. Loki looked down at him for a moment before he understood the significance of what was happening and his face crumpled in humble astonishment. He turned to his mother for confirmation, as did Syn.

Frigga spoke formally "Thor is banished. The line of succession false to you." Loki watched her with trepidation, as if afraid to believe he was being handed the throne. "Until Odin awakens, Asgard is yours." He turned hesitantly back to the spear and Syn watched his face carefully, afraid of what she would see there. Though she loved Loki and understood why Frigga was doing this, so much power put into the hands of a broken man before he'd had a chance to heal was courting disaster.

He'd been tentative at first but then accepted the spear reverently; seeming to grow taller the moment it was in his hands. He turned back to Frigga "Make your father proud, my King." As he held the spear Syn could tell he liked the feel of it in his hands and his gaze upon it slowly changed to haughty possessiveness, making her heart sink with foreboding. Loki acknowledged his mother's bequeathal and then left the room. Syn threw Frigga a look of disapproval and followed him.

"Loki!" he turned back to her but was completely preoccupied, his head spinning with thoughts. He spoke before she could "I really believed I would never see this day, the day that I would have the throne, not Thor!" she didn't like the zealous authority that filled his voice. She'd always wondered what kind of king Loki could be if he could ever get out of his brother's shadow. Now she feared she would never really know. This was not the Loki she'd grown up with; this was a broken version of him that was getting drunk on power when he needed time and healing. And if she betrayed those thoughts to him right now, she thought it likely he would turn his back on her.

She belatedly realized he'd been waiting for her congratulations and was now studying her closely. "I too thought there might never come a day where I would address you as My king. But I hope you remember that it is only for a day, or little more, that I do so. This arrangement is temporary. Even if Odin does not wake up, you know he sent Mjolnir after Thor. I believe your mother is right, his banishment is temporary, intended only to teach him a lesson. When he proves himself worthy and returns, what then?" The corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk "You mean if." She looked him dead in the eye when she responded "I know Thor's heart, Loki. I mean when." The smirk faded and he looked as if he was going to be angry with her before he took a deep breath and briefly turned his eyes down, calming himself. When he met her eyes again he surprised her by capturing the tip her chin in his fingers and kissing her briefly "Let us wait and see what time brings." He released her with a cocky smile and in a swirl of cloak, turned and continued down the hall with his guard.

She stepped back into Odin's chamber seething with frustration. She watched Frigga speaking softly to Odin and decided it was probably best that she kept her mouth shut till she could calm down. She resumed the watch.

Later she'd left the guard with Frigga and went to check on Loki. She had heard that the warriors three had come to see him and ask that he lift Thor's banishment. Apparently it had not gone well and Lady Sif had been restrained to prevent her speaking out against him. Loki was nowhere to be found. Syn checked every place she could think of where he might be, and was troubled when she found no sign of him. Knowing she couldn't neglect her duties anymore and had returned to Odin.

Standing watch drove her mad. She'd kept her post faithfully but she didn't have the temperament for it and had grown near frantic with boredom. Knowing the importance of her duties, she felt terribly guilty that she wasn't always as vigilant as she should be; she often slipped into her own thoughts so deeply that she was nearly unconscious of her environment. So her relief was almost painful when a guard summoned her to dine with Loki. She looked to Frigga who'd smiled sweetly and encouraged her to go "I'll keep watch."

When she arrived Loki had set himself up in grand splendor. Unsure how to handle him, she'd begun a formal bow but he seemed distinctly uncomfortable with it and had subtly shaken his head. Surprised by his rejection of the gesture and even less uncertain how to behave now she hesitated a moment before he offered her the strained smile he had taken on since learning his true parentage. He held out her chair for her and she'd sat down, gauging him as he walked around her to sit at the head of the table. He surprised her when he said nonchalantly "How goes the watch? Anything interesting?" she regarded him coolly for a moment before deciding he was jesting and then offered a smile, followed by his easy laughter. He sobered after a moment and said with apparent concern "How is father?" She looked down at her own plate before responding flatly "The same."

He contemplated her for a moment before suddenly declaring to the Einherjar "Guards! You're dismissed." At their hesitation he'd taunted them good-naturedly "You don't think you'll need to defend your King from the Lady Syn, do you?" they relaxed and some even smiled as they filed out of the room. Loki continued to address them in a lower voice, meant only for her ears "She could finish you all off with a wave of her hand anyway." It was said with charm and meant to be a compliment, but she found no pleasure in it, in fact it set her on edge. She'd given up all pretense of eating.

Disgruntled by her withdrawn behavior he watched her for a moment before quietly saying "I wish you could be happy for me Syn, I don't understand why you are not." She tried very hard to hide her exasperation "I'm happy for you Loki, but I'm worried about you. Too much has happened in the last few days. You've lost the foundations of who you are…." He'd cut her off with self-assurance "and gained everything I ever wanted." She met his eyes "Is it? Is it everything you ever wanted?" He returned her frank gaze, considering. "Your right, something is missing" and leaned in to kiss her. She turned her face just enough to discourage him and he'd closed his eyes and dropped his head in frustration before leaning back to look at her. She kept her eyes on the table as she quietly reproached him "I guess I don't know you as well as I thought I did because I don't believe you ever wanted to lose your brother, face losing your father, and risk breaking your mother's heart. Just so you could rule."

She turned her eyes back to him and found him smiling dangerously at her. She recognized that look and braced herself, he was about to turn the tables on her. "It's a pretty speech Syn, truly it is. But tell me this…did you choose to spend your life serving in the palace? Your gifts are an accident of your birth and yet they define you. You might have more power than any of us, and yet you are prohibited from using it. You let them lock you up in this place and use you, just as they did to me, only you knew you were being used. They tell you what to do and you do it, you never stand up for yourself, you never fight back, you never pursue what you want." His words struck home and she admitted it "Your right, guarding rooms and passing judgment is not how I want to spend my life. But safeguarding the innocent is my duty Loki."

He watched her thoughtfully for a moment "You make it sound as if I've betrayed all who love me. What of your heart Syn. Is it too at risk?" Unable to meet his eyes, she turned her face down and away before replying softly "No."

Desperation overcame him as he reached for her and grabbed her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him as he pleaded "Don't shut me out Syn. Please don't shut me out again, I couldn't bear it." She stared up into his beautiful eyes and saw frantic pain there "I need you. Not because of your abilities, but because I feel like myself when I'm with you. You were my closest friend, you stood up for me, you made me feel worthwhile when no one else did. With you I can still feel a little thread of who I was when everything made sense. Before the world became secrets and lies. Before I found out that I'm a monster even Laufey didn't want….before I found out that I wasn't really worthwhile after all." Her eyes had filled with tears by the time he finished, and he released her. She addressed him as calmly as she could manage "my heart isn't at risk because it is yours, I gave it to you, and it shall remain with you for as long as we exist. It can only be broken if you desire to break it."

He'd stayed stock-still, as if he couldn't absorb what she'd said so she continued "My love has no other motivation then that I know you, the real you, better than anyone, even yourself. I've kept your secrets; I know your faults, your flaws, your burdens. And I accept them, I accept you, just as you are, and I ask for nothing in return but your love and respect. Because you know me, you know me better than anyone. You are a part of me, no matter where you came from, no matter what plans anyone had for you. What we have between us cannot be spoiled by that, unless you allow it."

He was standing over her now and he looked fragile in a way she'd never before seen him. He reached down to her and pulled her to her feet, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her neck as she held him. She could feel him trying to control his breathing. When he calmed he released her just enough to look at her. She stood with her hands on his chest as he marveled at her for a moment before breaking into an irresistibly sweet smile and she caught a glimpse of the boy she loved. If only she could keep him that way. Wanting to hold onto the moment she kissed him passionately. When they came up for air, he realized the sleeve of her gown had slipped once again leaving her shoulder bare. He kissed the exposed skin and seemed on the verge of pulling the clothe back onto her shoulder, but he paused a moment, meeting her eyes with a flash of mischief and smiling wickedly before he tugged the material further down and continued to kiss her skin.

The next few hours were a blur of magic in his arms. Later they were lying in bed touching, caressing, talking and her curiosity got the better of her. "How did you know?" He tilted his head in inquiry, prompting her to elaborate "When you came back from Jotunheim, you knew. How?" He looked at her with fresh curiosity "You could you see that?" she nodded and laced her fingers with his by way of explanation. He smirked and grunted his understanding of what had tipped her off, but distaste colored his voice when he answered "The frost giants can freeze your skin if they touch you, with me it just brings out their coloring." She wanted to see this and so made her hand freezing cold for a moment, watching his skin go blue for a moment before it returned to its usual coloring. The trick had him shaking off her hand, prompting her to apologize affectionately "I'm sorry. I just wanted to see it." He wasn't upset with her, but she had unsettled him. She wasn't ready to give up the topic yet "How do you intend to handle the Jotuns?" This did visibly irk him and she tempered the question "I'm not saying to reveal your heritage, but you may be able to restore peace by helping them rebuild themselves into something more than the warmongers they've become." His manner had gone cold and he'd sat up and turned his back to her as if he were going to leave the bed. There was suddenly an edge of hostility in his words "You speak truth, they are warmongers. A race of barbarians the nine realms would be better off without. I won't help Laufey. He should pay for what he did." Always challenging him she responded "and after that, what? They suffer without a leader and flounder out of existence?" His reply was menacing "They deserve it."

"Loki, I know your angry but" she'd been reaching for his back when he turned with sudden urgency and grabbed her hand "Syn if this is going to work we need to form a pact right now." The significance of what he was about to say was burning in his eyes as he moved back towards her "There are going to be many things we don't agree on, and I won't ask that you turn the other cheek and ignore it, I know that is not in your nature, but I need you to understand that I have to do what I believe in." She met his fervent candor with calm honesty "Then you have to understand that I will do what I believe is best, even if it's against your wishes. That includes protecting you, even from yourself." He looked down in acknowledgment, reluctantly accepting her words. After a moment he reached for her and wrapped his hand in her hair, pulling her face to his "The only way we are going to hold on to each other is if we pledge never to use each other and never to punish each other. To each his own. I swear it." She thought hard for a moment, knowing him as she did, and the damaged state he was in, this was going to be an extraordinary commitment on both their parts. He was giving as much as he was asking though, and she didn't want to know what the alternative could be. She stared into his eyes and returned his solemnity as she agreed "To each his own. I promise." He kissed her hard.

Eventually they had to go back to their duties. Still uneasy about his state of mind and his now wildly mercurial moods, just before they parted she reminded him "I know your searching for yourself, and I will let you look because you feel you need to, but please remember that you were never lost to me, I could find you anywhere. Just don't push me away." He'd stroked her cheek and answered earnestly "You'll never be away from me long, My lady."

She returned to Odin's chambers and had resumed the long watch but kept catching herself with a foolish smile on her face, usually when she noticed Frigga stealing glances at her and smirking conspiratorially to herself. Some secret keeper she was…

Sometime later she heard the Bifrost portal open, replacing her smiles with worry. When it opened again a short while later she couldn't stand not knowing what was happening and excused herself. She walked the long bridge to Heimdall's observatory and found him in a foul mood. He addressed her formally "Lady Syn." She responded in kind "Heimdall." She tried to break the mood with a smile. Heimdall did not return it. "What is wrong Heimdall, to whom did you just open the Bifrost?" He stood there assessing her for a moment and she knew "Loki went to Jotunheim." There was the barest hint of surprised pride in Heimdall's eyes for a moment before she added "I need to go to Jotunheim." His response was swift and brooked no argument "No." She argued anyway "Heimdall, I must find out what he's done. You know I can take care of myself against the Jotun's." He'd interrupted her "I cannot open the Bifrost to anyone by direct order of my King… and it is not the Jotun's which make me fear for your safety Lady Syn." She felt as if she were being reprimanded and didn't know how to respond as he continued "He cloaked himself in Jotunheim, just as the Jotun's who previously entered our realm were cloaked." If he was expecting her surprise, he didn't find any. She'd accepted that it had to have been Loki and knew proof would turn up in time. Her lack of response worried Heimdall further.

"He is a traitor Lady Syn." This did prompt a response and she admonished him with it "He is your King Heimdall." He bowed his head at the reprimand and she softened her tone "He needs our help and our guidance, not accusations and partiality to a deposed son." His eyes lifted quickly back to hers and she could see the barb stung. "Thor will return when he is ready, but Asgard needs its King, and for now that is Loki." Heimdall tried reasoning "I serve my King faithfully, just as you do Lady. I fear you may be too close to see the danger you are in by protecting him."

Not wanting to hear anymore, she turned and walked back up the Bifrost to resume her watch.

A short time later she heard the Bifrost open again, despite Heimdall's admission to her that it was to remain shut, so she assumed it was Loki again. Thinking that leaving her post once more would be pointless she ignored it, until she sensed the vault had been opened, and that it had been by Loki's hand.

She'd come as fast as she could but when she arrived she found that he'd gone, and that the casket's pedestal was empty. What was he doing? He wouldn't give it back to the Jotun's, he'd made that clear. Her next realization caused panic to set in. Loki was a frost giant, he could use the casket as a weapon, and only one that needed to be faced with such a weapon was a very powerful Asgardian.

She hurried to Heimdall but, as she'd feared, arrived to find him frozen solid. His sword was drawn and must have been at Loki's throat when the ice had overcome him. How much danger would Loki be in when she freed Heimdall? She was debating whether she had enough strength to free Heimdall and protect he and Loki from each other, when the Bifrost began to open again. Through the observatory doorway she saw the Destroyer was inside and was entering the portal. Without the destroyer to guard it, much worse treasures than the casket were vulnerable to their enemies. She waved her hand, opening her own small portal and jumped directly to the vault, something many wards were set against and was no small feat to overcome. She stood motionless till she was sure she was alone and the contents of the vault were untouched. Her displeasure at the blank pedestal where the casket had sat was replaced by relief when she noted the Infinity Gauntlet was undisturbed. Though she could already feel the weariness beginning to catch up to her, she set about securing the vault as best she could and was nearly finished when she heard the Bifrost open again. Not knowing who had come in or gone out, she finished securing the vault before she jumped back to Heimdall.

When she reappeared in front of him she discovered he was flanked by frost giants, their presence stunning her for a heartbeat before she performed his swift release. The two giants had moved to attack and Heimdall quickly dispatched them both. He was greatly weakened by the ordeal, possibly more so than her exertions so far had made her, but she knew there was no chance she could move him on her own. While she was contemplating how to get him to the healing room, he staggered into the observatory instead. She stood just outside the doorway, unsure what he was trying to do as he slid his sword in the controls till the portal opened, then promptly collapsed.

Sif, The Warriors Three, and Thor appeared from the portal. They attended to Heimdall as Thor headed for the doorway, telling them "Leave my brother to me." An odd mixture of anxiety and relief flooded her as he approached. He stopped short when he saw her and they sized each other up. She looked at him critically for a moment before relaxing slightly, admiration in her tone as she softly admitted "You learned your lesson well." He smiled "and you look like I should be ordering you to the healing room." She inclined her head in acknowledgment of this, but his next words brought her jarringly back to the task at hand "Where is he?" his sudden resolve trickled ice up her spine, but in turning her thoughts back to the events at hand she realized the only person who could have let the frost giants in was Loki, and with the vault sealed there was only one place they could be. She gasped "Odin!" and vanished from the spot.

She'd reappeared in his chamber, first seeing Frigga lying on the floor at her feet and then Laufey looming over the prone Odin with a knife. Just as she'd been about to act a blast came from the doorway. She turned to hear Loki whisper with vengeance "and your death came by the son of Odin." Syn backed away, momentarily unsure what Loki's game was, and then saw the betrayal in Laufey's eyes when Loki took aim at him again and destroyed him.

She stood dazed, as Frigga ran to her son and embraced him as a champion. "I swear to you mother, that they will pay for what they have done today." Loki had gotten his revenge on Laufey, used Odin as bait, killed his birth father, and made himself look the hero. He had finally gotten everything he wanted… until Thor's voice echoed from the doorway "Loki!"

Frigga ran to hug him and Syn watched Loki as shock, apprehension, and animosity flit across his face in response to the anger on Thor's. He was ready for the fight the moment Frigga stepped out of the way and the brother's circled each other. Thor spoke first "Why don't you tell her, how you sent the destroyer to kill our friends, to kill me?" Syn's heart sank at having her suspicions confirmed, and she'd closed her eyes with disappointment. Frigga had been appalled "What?" Loki continued to try to play it off as they circled Odin's bed like children "Why, it must have been enforcing father's last command." Thor taunted "You're a talented liar brother, always have been." Loki feigned sincerity with his hand over his heart, declaring "It's good to have you back." Then he continued casually "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to destroy Jotunheim." He blasted Thor through the wall and stopped before her briefly as he was fleeing the room. The madness in Loki's eyes now was nearly complete, but as he stood before her, they each silently remembered their vow. He grazed her cheek with his thumb and she stifled her admonishment, squeezing her eyes shut to hide the pain there. When she opened her eyes he was gone. Syn turned to Odin and made a decision.

She put everything she had into the enchantment to wake Odin. While she tried to concentrate she could hear the Bifrost open and then remain open, long friendship with Heimdall meant she knew what happened when the Bifrost remained open, and she was crushed when she realized why it remained so. She could hear the thunder of Mjolnir. Hear the observatory destroying itself just as the brothers were destroying each other. She was near dead when she finally succeeded in awakening Odin. When he came to she greeted him with tears in her eyes and apologies for her failures. Odin wiped her tears away and reassured her "You did everything you could Syn." She heard the Bifrost and Observatory collapsing and made the decision with little thought. She transported herself and the Allfather to the end of the Bifrost bridge with the last of her strength. As they appeared there she fell unconscious to the Bifrost, Loki seeing her collapse as if dead while he and Thor were blown through the air after the Bifrost broke.

When she briefly regained consciousness she fought to hold onto it as she saw the Allfather holding onto Thor. She could hear Loki's frantic voice coming from over the broken edge of the Bifrost, still seeking his approval "I could have done it, Father! I could have done it! For you!" his voice became slightly more sorrowful as he added "for all of us." The hopelessness in the way he'd said it drew her attention and then her understanding. He would have caught a glimpse of her lying prone on the Bifrost after the feats she'd done. He would have thought her dead, which was not far from the truth. She did not have the strength to even try to reach him to prove otherwise, could not even lift her head. Syn squeezed her eyes shut in agony as Odin responded "No Loki" knowing this irrefutable rejection, the loss of everything Loki had tried to hold onto, would cause Loki to break. She knew when Thor saw it in his eyes, warning "Loki, no!" She fought her body but had nothing left. Then Thor was crying out to his brother, and she knew that Loki had let go. She stopped fighting and lost consciousness.

When she woke again she was in Thor's arms as he carried her, most likely to the healing room. One look at his pain and she knew she couldn't handle her own and let herself pass back out.

It was nearly a week before she could walk more than a few steps without tiring. She was working on traversing the room when Thor said from the nearby doorway "I see you managed to get all the way across this time." She'd glanced up and acknowledged him before returning her concentration to the floor. She tried to turn to walk back to the couch but she'd reached the end of her endurance and her legs gave out. Thor caught her before she collapsed to the floor and he carried her back to the couch.

He set her down gently, as if he might break her already frail body "It's too soon Syn. You need to rest." She didn't meet his eyes, only responded in a slight and sullen voice "Which is to say I need to sit here alone with my thoughts… slowly going mad." He watched her with sympathy as she'd spoken and sat next to her. He was about to attempt to say something supportive when she cut him off "I still don't have any answers for you Thor."

He had visited her several times before and she knew he was trying to understand why his brother had done such dark deeds. Odin had revealed the secret of Loki's adoption to Thor shortly after she'd been placed in the healing room. "Syn you were there, father and Heimdall say you acted honorably, that you did everything you could to end the madness. You must know something." She heard the pleading in his voice and resolutely looked him in the eye "The story is not mine to tell." He summoned his patience and acted as if he were dealing with a simpleton. "Syn, Loki is gone. There is no one else to tell his side of the tale."

She looked away and into the fire before she answered in a small voice "I don't believe he is gone." He tried to justify her feelings "None of us want to believe it Syn. We all feel the loss." She'd snorted at this "I'm not saying that I can't believe he is gone, I'm saying that I don't believe he is gone. I can still feel the tiniest glimmer of him in my soul. I think he is lost and alive somewhere out there, somewhere very far away." She'd become more and more distant as she spoke. When she finished she turned back to Thor and saw his fear, but whether it was fear that she'd gone mad, or fear that she might be right she could not tell. She amended her musings "maybe it would be easier for you all to believe he is gone." His denial was swift "Syn, how can you say such things, we loved Loki as much as you did." She gave him a scathing stare before refusing to speak to him anymore. After a few more minutes trying to reason with her as she stared broodingly into the fire, he left out of frustration.

She continued to stare into the fire and concentrate on that glimmer "I could find you anywhere."


End file.
